So as we see from all the scholars of tafseer whom we have quoted from above, that what is intended by this verse is that a man must be equal in that which he humanly has the ability to be equal in, from maintenance and the division of days, but as for him loving one more than the other, being more physically attracted to one over the other, or being more sexually active with one over the other, than this is something that he does not have the ability to be equal in as his heart may incline to one for whatever reason, but as Imaam al-Baghawee mentioned: "do not let your actions follow your feelings" meaning that just because you may love one more than the other do not allow that to cause you to oppress one with regards to the division of time and maintenance or outward signs that would hurt the feelings of the one you love less.

As for the punishment for those who are unjust between their wives in that which they have the ability not to be, then this comes in the hadeeth that is collected in the Sunan of Aboo Daawood (no. 2133), an-Nisaa’ee in his Sunan (2/157), at-Tirmidhee in his Jaami’ (1/213), Ibn Maajah in his Sunan (no. 1969), ad-Daarimee in his Sunan (2/143), and others, and is authenticated by al-Muhaddith al-Albaanee in Irwaa al-Ghaleel (no. 2017), on the authority of Aboo Hurayrah who said: The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said:  

"Whoever has two wives and inclines toward one of them (over the other) he will come on the Day of Judgement and one side of his body will be slanted."

al-Imaam at-Tirmidhee (rahimahullaah) brings this hadeeth under the chapter: ‘What has come in the Equality Between Co-wives’. Al-Muhaddith al-Mubaarakfuree says in the explanation of this chapter in Tuhfatul-Ahwadhee [4/247]: "ÇáÖÑÇÆÑ [from the verb ÖÑø which means to harm] The co-wives of a man (are called this because) each one of them harms the other with jealousy, and the division [of time]."

Al-Muhaddith al-Adheem al-Aabaadee (rahimahullaah) says in Awnul-Ma’bud (the explanation of the Sunan of Abee Daawood), on this hadeeth [6/136]: "Whoever has two wives" for example, "and inclines toward one of them over the other" meaning he is not just between them rather he shows favouritism to one over the other, "one side of his body will be slanted" sloping. This hadeeth is a proof that it is obligatory upon a man to be just between women, and it is prohibited for him to show favouritism to one over the other." [End of the quote of Al-Aabaadee]

Al-Muhaddith Muhammad Ibn Adam Al-Ithyubee (rahimahullaah) says in his explanation of an-Nisaa’ee [28/178-179]: "Benefits of this hadeeth: The clarification of the ruling of a man favouring some of his wives over others, and it is impermissible; due to the punishment that is mentioned in the hadeeth.

And from them: The obligation of dividing equally between wives. And from them: The concern of the sharee’ah to remove that which will cause enmity and hatred between the ummah, so it prohibited discrimination between the wives because that brings about breaking up a man and his family, rather it transcends to the families of the wives, so it is obligatory to avoid that.

And from them: The encouragement to have excellent character, from dividing equally between those (affairs) the sharee’ah has commanded to, so it is not permissible to show favouritism to one side over the other unless it is legislated, like if one of the wives is a slave, then it is not obligatory to be equal between her and the freed wife in division, rather she gets half of the days that are given to the freed wife, and Allaah knows best.

He goes on to quote al-Qurtubee in how the man should make the division: He (al-Qurtubee) says: ‘As for how he should divide, then there is no difference of opinion that he should give each of them their night alone, and many of the scholars say the day, and some of them are of the opinion of the obligation of this is at night, not during the day, and he should not enter upon one on them on the other ones night, unless there is a need to, and they differ with regards to his entering with a need or necessity, and the majority of them are of the opinion that it is permissible, Imaam Maalik and others. And in the book of Ibn Habeeb he prohibits it. And that he is just between them in maintenance and clothing if they are equal in status, not if they are of different stations."

Al-Muhaddith Muammad Ibn Adam says after quoting al-Qurtubee: "This statement of al-Qurtubee about not having to be equal between them if they are of different status needs proof specifying it with the general proofs of the obligation of equality in division (of time and maintenance)." [End of the quote of Ibn Adam]

There has come in the authentic sunnah many proofs of a man loving one wife more than the others, one for example is what come in the Sunan of an-Nisa’ee in the chapter: ‘A man loving some of his wives more than others’. The hadeeth on the authority of Aa’ishah who said: "The wives of the Messenger of Allaah sent Faatimah, the daughter of the Messenger of Allaah to the Prophet and she sought permission to enter, so when she entered he was laying with me on my Mirt (type of wool garment) so she said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah! Indeed your wives sent me to you asking for equality with the daughter of Aboo Quaafah (Aa’ishah)." And I remained quiet. So the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said to her:

"O my daughter! Do you not love the one I love?" She said: "Of course." He said: "Then love this one…"

Muhammad Ibn Adam says in the explanation of this hadeeth [28/187-188]: "O Messenger of Allaah! Indeed your wives sent me to you asking for equality with the daughter of Aboo Quaafah (Aa’ishah)" Imaam an-Nawawee said: ‘Its meaning is that they are asking you to be equal in the love in your heart, as the Prophet used to be just between them with maintenance and nights, etc., but as for the love of his heart then he used to love Aa’ishah more than the others, and the there is a consensus of the Muslims that it is not upon him to love them all the same because no one has power over that except Allaah, and He only commanded with equality in actions." [End of quote]

Compiled By Abul-Hasan Maalik Aadam al-Akhdar

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